For your parent, and for you.
“Go to my closet, grab the binder, everything is there.” That’s what I want to be able to say to my family.
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Most families never get to say it.
When my best friend Edwina buried her stepmom and then her dad, the funeral wasn’t the hardest part. Finding everything was. Which insurance. Which credit cards. Who the beneficiaries were. Where the deed was.
When her dad couldn’t speak for himself anymore, one thing went right: they’d done the paperwork while he could still say what he wanted. The doctors knew exactly who to call.
This workbook is the binder. Two of them, actually.
Sit down together, one page at a time, while they can still tell you what they want. Part One is written in their voice, so the answers are theirs, not your guesses.
If memory is starting to change, start with the legal pages. That window can close quietly.
You’ve watched friends spend a year untangling a life nobody wrote down. You don’t want that for your kids. Part Two is yours: your accounts, your wishes, your passwords, your people.
Fill it in once, tell two people where it is, and you’ve lifted the heaviest part off your children before they ever have to carry it.
Most of us are both. I am. I’m the daughter doing this for my mother, and the mother doing it so my sons won’t have to.
The legal notes are written for Illinois, where I live, with notes on where other states commonly differ. Everything else, from the passwords to the funeral wishes, works wherever you are.
I’m not a lawyer, and this isn’t legal advice. It’s the organized, plain-language starting point I wish every family had before they sat down with one.
Type right into the pages on any device. Print as many copies as your family needs: one for each parent, one for you.
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74 pages to write in by hand, with both binders and lined notes pages. Keep it with your important papers.
Build Your Board, the free workbook that comes with Boo, How Do I Get Home?, helps you organize caregiving: the medical, logistical, emotional, and financial load of caring for someone right now, with a short end-of-life planning section. Grab the Binder goes all the way: every paper, wish, account, and password your family will need when you can’t tell them yourself, for your parent and for you.
No. Grab the Binder stands on its own. The book tells the story behind it, and Chapter 19 walks through Edwina’s experience in full.
Yes. Every page works anywhere. The legal notes flag where other states commonly differ, so you’ll know which questions to ask in your state.
No. Write where things are, not the secret numbers themselves. The workbook shows you how.
Start with the easy pages: favorite hymns, who gets the good jewelry, what they want to wear. The Starting the Conversation page has more that worked for me.
You just have to start.
The kindest thing you can leave your family is a binder they can find.
Get the fillable PDF — $27